Revelation (Episode 96)
THE GRINDSTONE TRIBUNAL:
This is no April Fool’s joke. It just feels like one. Come watch Grindstone members Dreskar, Jabber, Ackost, and myself line up to take a final swing at this hyped-up nonsense game before we officially throw the uninstall party.
No, no, no, hell no. This is a classic example of a game that does almost nothing right, where the only sane thing one could take from the entire experience is how not to make a game. There are very faint flashes of competence here but they are drowned out by the overwhelmingly awful experience, shit tier community, bot infestation, terrible translation, a grind that would make Korean players rage quit, and characters with storylines so fucking stupid you wonder if this is another Twilight fanfiction that someone took seriously again.
Fuck this piece of shit, this thing never should have been made and everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves. The fact this game got any attention at all just baffles me, was there seriously no better choices out there besides yet another garbage Asian MMO? Hell even in the Asian MMOverse we have seen way better offerings, even ones that while more technically flawed had more interesting concepts and premises, or had such interesting worlds to keep us hooked.
I can’t see this being a game for anyone as it offers nothing of value at all. Even if you wanted to like it on some weird Plan 9 from Outer Space level of “so bad you can’t help but get a kick out of it”, the sheer time investment it demands alone is a deal breaker. This is a game that is for no one, and when the flavor of the month crowd move on in a month or 2 and we see the servers start closing down I will still be left asking “WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THIS WAS THE SAVIOR OF THE MARKET?” I give it 5 months tops before it is shut down for good, though Mail.ru is crazy and very Russian so they could let it linger like a corpse, much like they did with Allods.
Recommended?: FUCK OFF, NO.
What exactly was the hype for this game? I remember very distinctly, somewhere around mid-2016, a lot of people I knew who played MMOs were pushing this game like it was the second coming of WoW. People I had never suspected were aware of Korean MMORPGs or anything that wasn’t Blizzard fare were coming out of the woodwork to tell me how amazing it was, and even then, I saw a bog-standard Asian MMO with all of the staples of the genre. So, did it live up to the hype?
No, not even a little, not slightly, not even close. Holy hell, has there ever been a better example of tripping over the starting gate and then causing a dumpster fire as your fellow competitors suddenly combust from the blast wave? This game hurts other Asian MMOs. This game hurts the attempt. This game is so bad by all accounts that it is a case study for what not to do, ever, in any sense, at any time, on any level. There are five-year-old MMOs from Korea and China that do what this game does but better. There are indie-developed games that look better than this and run better to boot. I cannot begin to quantify how unappealing it is on all levels. There are much better games that are out already.
Play anything else. Please. Play Blade and Soul for the combat and the hilarious anime monstrosities you can create. Play Swordsman Online for the clusterfuck controls and UI. Play Age of Wushu for the strangely endearing mechanics that barely work together in the same environment and the bizarre Chinese linguistic gaffes. Play TERA for the eye-crossing dialogue and translation, because at least then it would be in English.
If anything, do not play this game because the publisher is wholly undeserving of your time, money, and publicity beyond the visibility from space of the impact crater of this thing bombing.
Recommended?: NO. Just…no.
I have to admit I was not actually hyped for this game like it seemed most people were. Still, I had not played an MMO in a while so I thought, eh why not? So after the download and several days of playing I had to wonder, why is there hype for this game? The combat has nothing to it, the story is skippable, and the characters are forgettable. I can barely remember anything about the game other than its character creator, which was more fun because I got to make some eldritch abominations. Also why the hell does the Spirit Shaper out damage the Gunslinger? What sense does that make? Anyway if you need something with a similar aesthetic, and have not played it yet, I recommend Blade and Soul. You will have more fun with that compared to this.
Recommended?: Man falling off of a cliff: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
Dear fucking god. Did I not say my piece clearly enough? There was NO subtlety in that video. It’s a laughing stock of a game from start to point-you-decide-to-quit. Being released on April 1st is serendipitous. I seriously didn’t plan it like this.
This game is a joke. The fact that anyone would defend this game so fervently… is a joke. The fact it’s been in a beta stage for months, only needing to be translated, and they STILL didn’t get it done is a joke. Seriously if this is the future of MMOs we are fucking doomed. Shit like this makes me want to stop this show right away, instead of transitioning into another genre slowly. Not that that pays off too often. What am I, Demo Reel?
I can’t even begin to tell you how much I didn’t’ want to do this. We finished the stream and gameplay over 2 weeks ago, and neither Dreskar or myself could be assed to work on the script. We didn’t care, and I kept finding infinitely better things to do.
“Oh, I haven’t played Breath of the Wild in a while. Guess I can just stream that!”
“Wait, I never did that Fire Emblem Heroes Sidequest. I’ll just get that out of the way now.”
“Hey, the Splatoon 2 Global Testfires are going on now. Might as well attend almost all of them!”
“I wonder if I can convert that Horseradish Salmon dish with the teriyaki ginger rice and Roma tomatoes into a wrap of some sort… Better gather all the ingredients and get a little fancy with my cooking!”
“Ooh, it’s Nightmare Cardio Day on my workout program! Guess I’ll get to writing tomorrow!”
I can’t see what merit this game had. Coming up with play points was the hardest part, even though, yeah, this game can be pretty, and yeah, the combat system is pretty fun, if not a bit clunky at times. I actually love the way a thin line links you to your tabbed target, and the soundtrack is absolutely fantastic. It’s funny to see a Chinese MMO published by Russia of all things offer the option of same-sex romances, but locking them behind a grindwall of crafting to earn a skill called “Taboo Kiss” is as baffling as it is hilarious to say.
There are lots of clever ideas here that I’d like to see in other games, but this team had no talent or the proper execution to pull any of them off well. At least not in a manner we haven’t seen done better in other games.
You want an Open PvP world with a labor restricted crafting system?
Play ArcheAge or Black Desert.
You want a martial arts fantasy world with flashy action combat and wacky characters?
Play Blade and Soul.
You want an overhyped shiny animu game that features nothing original but still gets praised as a great innovator?
You want a convoluted Chinese mess with a terrible translation, multiple confusing and needlessly complex upgrade systems?
Play Age of Wushu.
There is NO reason to play this game for anything but the sheer absurdity of it. Like holding a rotting bowl of leftovers and forcing other people to smell it.
Though… I’d still take this game over Swordsman any day of the week. Better to be hilariously bad, than boringly bad.
I’m waiting for some dipshit to tell me I was just trying to make this game look bad. Honey, I did NOT have to fucking “try”. If ya play it and you like it, great! You’re allowed to like things. But everyone else doesn’t have to like it too, and if the only hope you have to cling to is “But it’s a beta!” you should know better by now. If I’m wrong, and this is all polished, condensed and fixed up properly, come “launch” I’ll gladly eat my words, but remember guys… SHOULD HIM BE TOLD THE TRUTH?!
Recommended?: lol NOPE
Posted on April 1, 2017, in Episodes and tagged anime, chaosd1, free-to-play, grinder, mail.ru, mmo, mmo grinder, my.com, revelation, revelation online. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.
I really can’t help but feel like this being released on April 1st is almost destiny. After the bandwagon of hype that is now likely burning at the bottom of a cliff, seeing the cacophonous series of fuck-ups that’s going on with this title makes me wonder how anyone ever thought this would be a boon to the MMO market. In any case, I do find myself curious if those jackasses that were harassing you during your stream are eating their words right now, as it seems a lot of the player base is probably dropping off the same cliff that burning hype wagon’s situated at.
It really is shocking to me just how apocalyptically bad this all came together. I mean, translation jobs aren’t the easiest in the world, yeah, but literally just throwing the script through Google Translate would’ve been at least some sort of fucking improvement over doing jack shit instead. As a writer, that pisses me off more than anything else; you paid for that bullshit plot, at least respect it enough to give it a proper translation. And the T-posing…oh lord, the T-posing…it’s like watching a merry-go-fuck-yourself of neglect and terrible design choices.
Either way, respect goes out to you and your group for putting up with that madness. You guys deserve at least something other than bile for going through RO’s fetid corpse.
3:56 what’s wrong with your faaaaace? No seriously, what even is that girl that flashed up for a single frame? Does she have robot eyes or something? I paused at that single frame full screen at 1080p and I still don’t know what I was looking at! Later on it looks like she’s a character you were playing as, with terrifying body proportions. I feel like I gazed into the abyss.
Maybe I’m just not looking in the right places, but I have noticed a sharp decrease in the number of new MMOs compared to prior years, and the ones that do come out haven’t really grabbed my interest. At least there’s the f2p re-release of Secret World to look forward to.
D̥̮͔͈̔ͦ̿O̳͎̘̲͌̅͌͒K͇̿̓ͨͤI̒̈̇ͫͤ̑ͯ҉̠̯ ̺̮͉͔̹͈̼̊͊̂̆̚S̼̠̰̻ͅÈ͖̮̦͇̘Ė̢̥̳̗̪̳̫̺̿̆͑S͓̟̮̋ͬ ̴̜̬͓̙͈̀̉̑ͧͭ̔E̛̗͍͓̟Ṿ̧̤͙̳͈͎ͧͨ͋̿̎̀ͅẼ̳͍̘̻̱͗ͫR̙͟Ÿ̵̮̖͈̱́ͣ̾ͪ̑̀̀ͅT͇͉H̤̬I̺̝̜͔̫ͦͮ̃̍̊ͫ̆͟N̋́ͦͤ͂̇G̙͒ͯ̅ͮ͂
This will make a nice eyecandy time-kill for a week.
Man, how this ended up being put up on April Fools Day is a beautiful thing. I’ve passed this video along to some people who have just outright asked me “is this a joke game or something”? To which I get to gleefully say: “Oh HEY YEAH, you’re one of the people who I DIDN’T send links for the live streams of this, aren’t you? Well yes, this game is real, and by the way, here’s the links to the Twitch streams, you’re in for a freaking TREAT.”
This games’ footage got more “what the hell IS this” out of people I know than your SCARLET BLADE stuff. Just saying.
Also, thanks much for making sure the livestreams got put into the “Twitch Highlights” and didn’t get lost to whatever Langolier-like monster eats Twitch “past broadcasts” nowdays. I’m still sad that a lot of the old Grindstone stuff (especially for games that really no longer exist) got eaten up when Twitch started doing that mess, especially since I missed so many live streams due to really (really really) bad internet plus Twitch’s nonsense where not having enough viewers makes it so that viewers can’t choose video quality. At least we have a record of The Adventures of Huge Knockered Angel Doge for when Revelations goes cratering the way that so many other MMOs featured here have.
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