Tell us how you really feel (Episodes 55, 56, and 57)
This block would be wholly unremarkable if it wasn’t for one game… This game pretty much gave me a major boost on both places I posted with a success that I kind of expected, and a backlash I most certainly didn’t. People complain about anything for any reason. There are no winners… in Scarlet Blade. (Also featuring Digimon Masters and Grand Chase, but who really cares? Oh hey, I started my Patreon this block too, didn’t I? I seriously never expected it to get where it is now. I’m still waiting for it to tank, honestly.)
Episode 55: Digimon Masters
You know, if Dabeer and SonicRose didn’t co-host this review with me, it’d have been me screaming “THIS GAME IS A POINTLESS STUPID UGLY CLUNKY CONVOLUTED WASTE OF TIME” over and over again. I did not like it. It was all a grind for an end goal I wasn’t even sure existed. I had no connection to these characters, this world, and everything in it made me go, “What’s that? Oh, ok. Who cares?”. Horrifically pay-to-win, and generally uninteresting combat, graphics and settings, I had no love for the game, and just smiled through the motions to remain impartial to it. Though making one of my Digimon speak entirely in Breaking Bad quotes was kind of fun. A lot of Grindstone liked it. Dabeer and SonicRose loved it. Me…? I thought I was pretty clear up there.
Recommended?: Unless you are a major fan of the Digimon franchise, NO.
Episode 56: Scarlet Blade
I gave way more attention to this game then I ever thought I would. A jokey April Fool’s Sidequest, a side article that I totally reused the name for, and of course, something I swore I’d never do… an actual review… followed by several rants about the game spawned from misguided dipshits calling me sex-negative because I recognize when a game is just luring you in with tits and bullshit, and called them on it. I can’t stress enough that there was literally not a single thing based upon sex within the game. No relationship or dating aspects. That technically makes LUNA Online more of a sex focused game than this, when you think about it. The only thing that came close was the Dance Club which was a needless offshoot, completely skippable, and featured some fucking AWESOME music.
But the game is solid. Gorgeous, even! I can’t believe how fantastic this game really looks when you ignore all the cheesecake. There’s a solid setting with an interesting dynamic, tragic story, and lore-filled world, that gets all brushed aside because “omg my chick’s tits are so big omg so hot!”. The very thing luring you into the game, is the second worst and most needless part about it. You want to play an online game about fucking? Go play Second Life. This isn’t it.
What you here is a really good game if you just play it, and stop ogling it. The only other real downer is the grind walls you hit at later levels, and honestly, that’s the ACTUAL worst thing about the game. If they tweaked the later levels to flow a bit better, and gave us some more insight into the actually intriguing story, we would have a much more enjoyable game I probably would have kept playing. Even the community managed to mature themselves in time, and those who play the game now play it for its merits, not its tits. Which is likely more than I can say about the people defending the game’s cheesecake and shameless pandering. They’ve probably never actually played it.
I did actually stop after I reached the VIP club, but not because it was a stripper party. I actually thought that was really funny and kind of a neat aesthetic (I have a thing for flashy neon dance clubs, ok?). No, it was the grindwall we endured for several hours before finally reaching it, that made us feel like we were officially done with the game. Goal achieved, after all.
Recommended?: If you can get past the fanservice… both as a possible detriment or lure to play this game…YES.
Episode 57: Grand Chase
Hey, I remembered when I reviewed this game. WHEN IT WAS CALLED ELSWORD!
Sure, GC had a much more vast cast of characters, with a respectfully unique moveset for all of them, but so much about this game just felt like a weaker, messier, clunkier version of Elsword.
Ok, yes, Grand Chase came first. I get it, and I don’t care. I reviewed Elsword first, and to this day I still have no idea why so many players of GC were so adamant to say that Elsword had nothing to do with their game. It’s the same developer. The same art design. Visually and functionally similar main characters. A same character between the titles. The same gameplay style. The same everything! It’s the same god damned game!
It is. Shut the fuck up, it totally is. Accept it!
You know, except GC couldn’t stand on it’s own, even with Killer Combo’s crutch underneath it, so it’s gone now. Again. Don’t worry though. You have Elsword. It’s the same game.
Am I tired of every single time I make mention of this someone always has to tell me they’re so totally different? Am I being mean and inflammatory? Yes. Bite me.
Recommended?: NO. It’s dead anyway. Go play Elsword.