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Tell us how you really feel (Episodes 63, 64, and 65)

Well here’s a parade of winners for you. Our first attempt at the Open Beta Tester event, leading to one of Grindstone’s most despised games, followed by an absolutely atrocious cash-in title followed by a butchered yet worshipped otaku paradise. Everything is wonderful.

Episode 63: ArcheAge
Oh god. What was this thing even trying to do?!
I will say this over an over again for those accusing me of having some sort of weird bias… I wanted to like this game. I chose it for Open Beta Tester Event because I wanted to like it. I chose it for the event because I thought it would be a great game for all of us to get into. A easily followed quest path, or the option to play sandbox style. I was hoping it would be Grindstone’s new Wushu. We designed our fucking guild logo for the explicit purpose of using in this game… and we all hated every second of playing ArcheAge.
It wasn’t so much what ArcheAge was, it’s the fact it did a piss poor job of being that.
“It’s a sandbox!” detractors say. No, you still need to play through a very boring and linear questline filled with boring task after boring task to the fairly deep level of 30, for the express permission to start playing like a sandbox. That is, if you’re willing to invest the cash or absurdly grindy amount of time and effort to accrue the “labor points” to build even the most basic parts needed to do anything fun and freely.
“It’s open PvP!” they’d exclaim. Save that this allowed both faction members and non-faction members to attack you making you safe from no one, not really penalizing PK players beyond some player-chosen “slap-on-the-wrist” sentences that rarely lasted longer than a bathroom break.
“The class system lets you be anything!” they’d retort. Well, unless you wanted to be an “assassin” which turns you into a healer for some reason. Or of course, you wanted to be effective in any form of combat as most class combinations were completely worthless and didn’t properly synergize with each other.
The combat was lazy and unimaginative as the questing. The community was god awfully terrible, and the game failed at every single thing it was trying to be. To hell with this game.
And to the one guy who said “I gave better information” in my Sidequest because I had high hopes for the game at the time and didn’t talk about all the negatives because I hadn’t encountered them yet: “Go fuck yourself, fanturd.”
Recommended?: Fuck NO.

Episode 64: F.E.A.R. Online
This shit right here? This is why I don’t like doing polls.
I can’t really blame the voters here. They probably thought what most of us thought. “Hey, Psionic powers in a horror focused F.E.A.R. based online game?! Sign me up!” What we got was fuckin’ Call of Duty: Boo edition. (“Call of Duty: Ghosts But For Real This Time”?) Horror isn’t a succession of jumpscares, regardless of what Five Night at Freddy’s wants you to believe. But this game couldn’t even keep its tone straight. The announcer sounded like he was stolen from Crazy Taxi. The guitar riffs were hilariously out of place. The animation was so broken and jerky that it took any sense of dread out of the supposedly “fear-focused” online modes. Nothing worked. The god damned “Koi Pond of Invincibility”!
F.E.A.R. Online is dead now. Unsurprisingly and deservedly.
(Fun Fact: Angry Joe used snippets of this video in his list of “Worst Games of 2014”, gaining me the largest subscriber boost on Youtube, that was already going along respectfully.)
Recommended?: NO. God no. Not like you have a choice anymore, though.

Episode 65: S4 League
What the hell happened here? This game was suggested and beloved by Raid Leader Patron/Grindstone member “Nebibl”, and even MegaGWolf a huge fan of the game years ago. Both of them felt the hackers were a bit out of control and felt the game was wounded for it, but still a lot of fun.
I did not agree.
Granted, I did not play this game when it was so praised by people I know, but what I was playing was nothing special. Broken UI. Clunky graphics. (And to the pedantic defenders, I know the difference between aesthetic choice and graphic quality. And the graphics quality still sucked for the aesthetic they were going for.) The gameplay felt slow and muddy. Shooting felt weak, unimpactful and unsatisfying. Several of the modes were unimaginative and broken. Nothing about it was fun.
How about that ridiculously Korenglish true title to the game, “Stylish eSper Shooting Sports?” I’ve never wanted to punch a title so hard since “The Exiled Realm of Arborea
Whatever former glory this once had isn’t there anymore. Only the truly fanatical seem to think otherwise.
S4 League does for shooters what Drift City does for racing games.
Recommended?: NO.

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Posted on June 23, 2015, in Miscellaneous and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. ArcheAge was massive disappointment. Making it closed PvP probably would have fixed the bulk of things wrong with it. Except the boring landscape designs.

  2. You did a video on S4 League? Somehow it either got removed or never posted to your Channel Awesome page.

    All I can say for S4 is… it was fun on newbie characters with friends?

    Rental systems, p2w bonus stats on weapons and clothing, instantly not a game anyone wants to stick around for long. Really sad when a game is fun. Tales Runner was in the same place. No idea if the current publisher fixed any of that (your sidequest didn’t dig deep into those systems), but odds are no.

  3. Ahh Arche age only fun I got out of it was having you freak out when I came riding my Kangaroo…thingabobob. I was one of the first to download it and play it before you started and one if not the first to jump ship. I would apologize for leaving you all there playing that game but…eh.

    My main problem is the gods loved throwing me out of the world a lot, and it got boring fast did not help that I was further ahead than mostly everybody but not as far as “guy name I forgot” who was like 10 levels ahead of me, so I really had no one to quest with. That was my fault though, but if questing without a party is boring something is wrong MMO or no.

    Oh and being the first one to get to the random desert was fun especially when the others arrived to it, haha that was quite funny. However ya I …I did not hate it but man I did not really like it either.

  4. Heh, I’m the one of those who have discovered your channel due to the Angry Joe’s video. Thanks him for this. And thank you for your great reviews :)

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